Sunday, September 6, 2009

Day 6: Sunday Thoughts

Scripture: Daniel 10:1-12
Today's menu:
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Sunday Thoughts
As I am sitting in the den typing this blog, my head is absolutely killing me!  I am hungry but do not want anything that I am allowed to have and I am too drained to fix something....I am in a bad place.  I have been noticing that for many of you, the fast has gotten harder.  The first couple of days were relatively easy but around day 4 the cravings, hunger pangs, and headaches kicked in.  I know that I detoxing-the body is cleaning out the impurities now that is less work to do digesting meats, dairy, and complex carbs.  Someone posted a comment about not being happy.  I co-sign that.  You are not alone.  I feel an abiding peace and something holding me to this fast that will not let me go.  I know God is keeping me but ironically enough I have been feeling so lonely in the midst of this.  The reduction in food choices, no television, and the curtailing of conversation has made me a bit lonely for my old companions.  I enjoying my time with God but this is an adjustment.  All of my usual outlets are gone, it's me and Jesus and I am daily learning that God is enough.  

In the meantime, I am reminding myself that this is worth it.  That with each discomfort, I am pulling down a stronghold in my life and that God sees my sacrifice, knows I am serious because I am not looking for a corner to cut or an "out."  I am determined to get what I came for and know that some things only come with prayer AND fasting.

Today's sermon was powerful!  Wait.... on a side note, and this comment is not for the real HOLY people so stop reading if you can't take a joke....but at 11am did it feel like at points in the service, even the songs kinda slowed down?  I remember thinking at points: this beat should be faster and even when Rev and I recessed--it was casual stroll not a powerwalk! LOL! And then I thought, "Wow! We all must be really hungry!"  I bet some of you all enjoyed communion today more than you did in your whole life! LOL! Oh c'mon-you know you want to smile!

So back to the sermon--I took 2 things away from the message. The first is that I repented of the wrong turns I know I made.  It is difficult coming to grips with the fact that you are (I am) responsible for the delay of some things in my life.  I need to spend some time today just confessing and releasing those decisions and receiving God's forgiveness.  I pray that God will redeem the time and that I haven't missed certain opportunities because of my own poor choices.  

The second is that I must persevere.....I gotta keep going no matter how difficult this is.  And I have to keep going til I get what I am after not just until September 21st.  I am tired.  And I realize that I am more tired of the status quo of my life than I am of fasting.  I need change, not just want it.  I need it so that parts of me can truly live and flourish.  

Sorry for the delay in posting today.  Sundays are rough!  So expect to hear from me in the AM Monday through Saturday and the PM on Sundays!  I look forward to hearing from you!

5 comments:

  1. Hey it's Shonnell. Service was a little slow,but once I heard He's Sweet, I felt like Jesus sat right beside me and gave me a little umph.

    The sermon....wow! I took a lot of things from it. First, it's good to know that angels have the support of other angels to complete an assignment. I liken that to this blog. We've been asked to fast n pray for breakthroughs that will only enable us(church body) to do God's will(The Great Commision) The blog gives us the ability to vent about our struggle with one another daily and the support(recipes) on what we could eat.(Great!)Not to mention the verbal or electronic support of "Yes We Can"

    The second is rather personal, but I'll share. God speaks to me through dreams and I noticed that I'm dreaming a lot lately. I know it's God speaking to me bcuz the dream leaves a lasting impression like the bible says in the old testament, can't remember what chapter, (I know it's one of the early books, but to hear pastor tell us that we will hear from God before the 21 days n having been dreaming; only gives me confirmation that it is God speaking to me.

    Ya know, it will be grand before we go home to live with Jesus. Look forward for God's movement during the mid to end of the fast... we may have a modern day Upper Rooooom Experience(lol!)

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  2. Well I got through 2 BBQ's today on Corn on the cob - I have to laugh because that is what Pastor said he would be eating at his BBQ. :-)

    Honestly I had some of my stir fry Salmon before I left home, but as the day grew longer and the fish started frying I had to take a walk. But I made it...I am not having that tired feeling but I have had an annoying headache for the past 2 days. It seems to be the headache that comes when your body is going through withdrawl from something - I think it is the sugar. I have to laugh at Rev Raquel's comment about communion because that was a sugar rush for me!!

    As a comparison everything was on point @ 7:30 service, it was rocking early on. I kept thinking about all the wrong turns I have made in life and they just kept coming back to me and they happened all because I had to have it my way. Were they all bad, no but if I had thought about the choices I made before I made them things would have been different. I can't get back the time but I can learn from them and stop trying to change the definition of the word "INSANITY". It still means the same, "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

    This was my first Sunday serving as a Steward during communion and all I have to say is WHY ME? What do I mean by that, well I had a "special" person that took communion and afterwards I had to literally tug on him to remove him from the communion table as he uttered "I need some help". All I could say to myself was help me Lord, I don't need this, I have a nagging headache that won't go away!!
    Thank God for Frank Woods who came to the rescue and later told me that I handled the situation very well; Thank you Lord and Frank Woods!

    Be blessed

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  3. Hey all,

    I am home in Arkansas and we had hometown days in the small town where I am from in Arkansas. I kept going to the trunk of my car and pulling out my food because the BBQ, BBQ baked beans, corn boiled in BUTTER were calling my name. I know people thought i had turned into a wine head or something because I kept going to may car. It was funny one lady kinda followed me and saw me eating a curcumber. She was caught off guard and had to say something like "Lisa you are eating a curcumber. It sure looks good. LOL I laughed so hard. She thought she had caught me drinking. I got to tell my Daddy when I see him later today. My oldest niece who house I am staying at is helping me read labels and is telling everybody "TT" can't eat that what's in it. Did you read the label. She tried some of my smoothie and decided this was not for her but she is really supporting me. Even though she is about ready for me to get out of her room. LOL!

    Yesterday someone spoke something into my life that I have put off for such a long time until I forgot it was one of the things I said I wanted to accomplished. Now God has me thinking about what really seems impossible at this time in my life but I've got to go for it. I am excited and challenged just thinking about it.

    I also cooked something yesterday. I about gave my mother "the big one". She came into her house and smelled food and saw me standing by the stove. Her eyes got so big. She tried to recover but I saw her before she could get it together. For some reason, I've got a feeling that I might be doing a little more cooking. WOW, I can't believe I just typed that statement. I actually made breakfast for my sister, nieces and nephew yesterday. I am thinking about making omelets for them before I leave. I've got a feeling I am going to be someone that i don't know by the time I finish this fast. In all of my 42 years, I have never gotten up thinking i am going to make omelets - God is strange!

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  4. ok so I am home in Arkansas and we put extra "r"s in everything cucumber not curcumber just making sure you are really reading this. LOL

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  5. LOL @ Felicia...

    By the time this fast is over, we all are going to have a different face - like Moses when he came down from the mountain after meeting with God...

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