Today's menu:
I am uncertain about eating today....well solid food. Once the fast is over, I will do a normal fast on Tuesdays (church fast day) rather than the one meal a day. Not sure if I will alternate now or wait until it is over....I tend to do the normal fast for periods of time 10 days or less so I am thinking, should I be taking the easy way out just because Rev. allows us a meal in there? I want to mature not just get by...
Anyway, here are some options from the fridge that I will take and see how I am lead
- chili with brown rice (Camille, I want crumbles! My chili was good but I have to admit I am going to freeze a portion to add meat to it. I really missed it)
- smoothie (need more unsweetened coconut milk for next batch)
- bean salad --2 cans chick peas, 1 can red kidney beans, a few tbsps olive oil (4?), vinegar (add half as much vinegar as you olive oil), salt, pepper to taste, sliced red onion, capers
Deepening in Prayer
I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. I did get up at 5:30am (half hour late) and did my devotional time. Then I lay in bed waiting, listening, praying for a few minutes before getting ready to do to the gym. My trainer rescheduled so I took a full fledge nap for an hour and a half. I found my dreams interspersed with elements of my prayer--healing in one, my sister in the other (please pray for her-Tiffany). Anyway,...I have been doing 2 things during this fast, one that I will carry on afterwards...First, I write down whatever God is speaking specifically to me about during the sermon and on Sunday evenings, I meditate on that word and how to apply. I want to move from hearer to doer. I realize that for many of us a sermon is like spiritual entertainment. We listen, we feel good, we take it in in those moments but we do not capture it in a way that allows us to really live it out. I have decided to live out that word every week in some form or another; to specifically apply it to my life.
Second, I have been reading Jentezen David's Prayer Journal for a 21 Day Fast. Each day, it tells me what to expect at this point in the fast and give me a focus for reflection and prayer. Yesterday was finance and prosperity. Today's topic....marriage. God has jokes because that was what I was NOT going to pray for. I just kinda left it alone since He HAS to know I would like a family of my own by now. I love my nieces dearly but I want my own babies (note the plural)...
So this morning, I am going to be a bit transparent because this morning I went to a different place in prayer, a place I haven't been in a while. No, it was not the holy of holies. Not even to a place of God's unspeakable glory. I went to a place of honest, uncensored prayer. I prayed what I truly desired, not what I thought I could have at this point, not the shrinking, pocket-sized prayers of fear and too late and "if you just do this little thing, Jesus, I will be satisfied", but "God, here is what I really want."
I prayed what I sincerely desired--for my husband, for children and confessed my fear of infertility at my age. I asked God to help me be strong and not to settle, to wait for His best and recognize it, know it beyond a shadow of a doubt when He comes; to not get swept away in emotion but build a solid foundation where love can live. I want a man who.... and filled in the blanks, not based on what I have had or seen or what other people expect for me but what MY heart desires. I told God and He listened and I think He smiled a little bit, not simply because of what I wanted but because today, I trusted him with my heart.
What deep prayers will you pray?
Well Well Well Shall I go deeper - that's scary but it is the challenge.
ReplyDeleteYou know I mentioned that I went to hometown days in the small town where i am originally from in Arkansas on Sunday ( small town, no traffic lights and no Walmart - Walmart is very important to Arkansas) Anyway, remember I said that someone spoke something to me that I had stopped asking God about so long ago that I really wanted to forget it. Here is the deal, I had spoken to this guy talked about his children that all look like him. I promise it was crazy and he and his wife had lots of them fast and now the boys are growing up. He had all his boys with him and my God they looked just like him - anyway back to the story. After we talked and caught up and he asked where was my mother, I stayed for a little while longer and started to make my rounds to say my good-byes, see you next time, thanks for doing this, etc. As I was passing him again, he said I know you are working on your PHD. I tried to look all calm and everything but I knew that this was God and he was using this guy (who really should have had nothing else to say to me because we had a nice visit). He went on to say I know you are working on it because that's what you wanted and your Aunt Alice has hers and I know you have always followed her lead,etc. I said something dumb i am sure but I was a little taken aback. I had never told him about wanting a PHD or about the fact that I promised my Auntie that I would follow her lead as it related to educational advancements. She was the first one in my mother family to get her masters degree and PHD. I was about her like my niecy Diamond is about me. When she came home from college, I watched her sleep and talked to her and her friends about college and reading books etc. I told my Auntie Alice that I would do everything in my power to go to college and get my PHD before I knew what college was or a PHD. I kinda let life happen and I forgot. She is a good Auntie. She doesn't bug me about it she just continues to inivite me to every graduation she has ever had and now has started to invite me to her girlfriends graduations who are completing their PHD's. She is the best Auntie in the world. I believe she can answer all the questions and I am sure she thought I was an 8 year old lawyer back in the day. LOL!
I am washing clothes, typing this message and crying thank God Diamond is at school she really would think TT has lost it.
Blessings,
Felicia
Hi Family,
ReplyDeleteI am just going to say this now because I have to go but Rev Raquel your transparent honest prayer brought tears to my eyes because short of the children (don't get me wrong I love them but the facilities are closed) I am right there with you. I know you remember back a while the word that God gave me for me but also for you and how I didn't know how to tell you but you knew it was for you (WOW isn't God awesome). Hold on my sister I feel it and I felt it in your prayer so strong that whatever your heart desires God will give you just that.
BTW I am really hungry today, I prayed this morning and again @ noon and I am still hungry for food, maybe I need to pray again...
Much love
rev raquel, I was moved to intercession when i read your prayer request. Your husband is on his way - custom designed with you on his mind! :)
ReplyDeleteRev. Raquel, I agree with Carin and Tammy. Your prayer request echoed deep into my heart. Your time and your family is coming.
ReplyDeleteThe last few days I have been praying about guidance about my career. This morning I directly asked God for a sign of what he wanted me to be doing. When I got to work, I learned of an unexpected opportunity that would both expand my skills and be a large step in entrepreneurship. It would be a lot of work but the payoff would be rewarding.
I think that God was just waiting for me to be ready to accept his blessing.
Camille
P.S. I haven't been hungry for days now! :)
Thank you all for the words of encouragement. You really blessed me and made me feel like I am not just wishing but have actually caught hold of the will of God for my life; that He has said yes and I am simply waiting for the manifestation.
ReplyDelete