Prepared
I am sitting in the ICU waiting area after a long night of remaining at my grandfather's bedside. I am tired, my body aches. I have been craving a cheeseburger and french fries since I got here yesterday morning. It is the stress, the desire to eat something pleasant to relax me or just a craving for protein to strengthen me. I have thought to myself more than once-this is not a good time to be fasting, I need to (want to?) eat. But it is my mind and not really my body or spirit that craves this natural food, so I am hanging in there.
I have wanted to break this fast in particular several times now. It is harder than any one I have ever done-harder on my mind, my body, my spirit. I am very clear that I heard the Lord on this one and yet from the first day, I have struggled in ways I never have when the Lord has led me to fast. I believe my friend was correct when she said that for some reason this fast has put me on the front line.
These past several fasts have taught me a thing or two, even some things that I wish I did not have to learn. One lesson in particular is this: fasting (and prayer) do not always prevent bad things from happening, they just prepare you to deal with them. Fact of the matter is that I do not know what lies ahead or what else I will have to face during this fast. But of this, I am sure-I will not have to face anything alone.
After I got the call from my aunt about my grandfather's hospitalization, I received a text from a friend who had no idea what was happening. It simply read: Dt. 31:8 and there I found these words: "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
I am reminded today that in this life, there will be things that we must face, endure, encounter. We are not exempted because of our faith in Christ and these things are not always the things we would prefer or even pray for. But I trust that if they come our way, we are always prepared through Christ to face them for "it is the Lord who goes before [us]."
AMEN.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this posting Rev; during this time I know it helps to get your thoughts out. Things seem so clear when we are hurting or just waiting. I have to say we know that the Lord goes before us and prepares us, but are we really prepared for anything? In our minds we think it, in our speech we say it but do we really believe it in our hearts when they are hurting? I don't know but this I do know "Weeping may endure for a night but joy, absolute JOY does come in the morning" Psalms 30:5
ReplyDeleteWe love you and are praying for you and your family.
Ditto: "We love you and are praying for you and your family."
ReplyDeleteLots of love to you and your family, I pray your grandad gets well. You said yourself new mercies and new mornings continue to hold on to that declaration.
ReplyDelete